SATIRE: The top tips for every step of the college admissions process
By Priya Klein and Evan Zhang ‘26
It’s late spring at Catlin Gabel School (CGS) and the air is abuzz with excitement for the summer to come: underclassmen rally around spikeball nets in the Quad, seniors find ever-conspicuous reasons to ditch class, faculty map out their vacation itineraries, and juniors lug themselves to the College Counseling Office for weekly sessions of PODS.
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SATIRE: The junior’s path to salvation
By Andy Han ‘26
Some would compare the average life of a junior at the Catlin Gabel School (CGS) to the legendary myth of Sisyphus; a Greek king condemned to eternal torture in Tartarus for ridiculing the gods, pushing a boulder up a hill of which he will never reach.
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SATIRE: Signs and symptoms of Senioritis
By Olivia Morrison ‘24
Are you a second-semester senior? Do you suddenly feel a complete lack of motivation to complete your homework or go to school? If the answer to these questions is “yes”, then you may be falling victim to Senioritis, a disease characterized by a decline in motivation or performance in school.
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An insight into the life of dedicated CGSA president, Ben Rosenfeld
Catlin Gabel Student Association (CGSA) president Ben “Mr. President” Rosenfeld has been in office a total of 11 months, dating back to his election in April of 2022.
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Inside Applegate
Catlin Gabel School (CGS) Head of School Tim Bazemore was caught eating an apple for lunch inside during a meeting with coworkers, breaking CGS’ COVID-19 protocol, and students are reeling from the aftermath.
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